It's rather ironic that I'm writing this having received a ‘punishment spanking’ a scant two hours ago. But I suppose that puts me in a good position to comment on how it feels while the experience is still fresh in my mind, my psyche, (and other areas as well!).
Foremost is the sense of security. The knowledge that the lapses in judgement that I make in this relationship will result in a traditional session of punishment, atonement, and forgiveness rather than putting the relationship itself in jeopardy is a comforting one. It allows me to be myself in a way that I have found difficult in past relationships.
Conversely, there is the insecurity too. The intense rush of emotional bonding that comes from the acceptance of this man's authority over my actions and my heart cannot help but feel rather overpowering. When one's dreams come true, the fear of waking up can be rather intimidating.
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